I have never had to face life alone, as a single force, with no back up. My love, I have been so blessed and cursed by loving you. One thing I have not been is regretful. I would never have lived if it were not for our love. I would not change a thing in our past, for I have heard that it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all, and because of you, I agree wholeheartedly. Don't ever think I regret the years that passed with us together. But I need you to know every thought, every feeling I am having. I cannot hold back if I am to let the memory of us go and to honestly say goodbye, to set myself free. I'll regret not getting this message across forever if I do not tell you now. So, I am blessed, my love, for having had you in my life, for learning love and happiness, but I am cursed, for losing you kills me deep down inside. Maybe that is the worst of all. For I have died within, but my body lives on. I have died inside, with you, but I have to learn to live again. Each step of my resurrection is a step away from you and a stab to the heart. Coming back to life means reliving every detail I miss so very much. It scares me so much, love. I have held onto you for this long to avoid all the excess pain but the time has come, dear, to move on.
I have a long, excruciating trip ahead of me, as do you, love. I am ready now, I think, I hope, I need. I wish this was not the way we had to depart from each other; I wish we never had to say goodbye. With these hopes and wishes, I have denied the end of our story. I have neglected this final chapter, keeping the series of events that have led up to our final hours together as close to me as I possibly could. I cannot be bitter, dear, for I know you would want me to be happy. But these long, lonely years have left a mark and I have been bitter, even cold at times. It is tough here without you, my love. And I didn't imagine it any other way. But imagining and living are two very different things. Which is why I am here. I am removing this cloak of bitterness and watching it float away into the clouds. I am taking all these lovely memories and storing them where they will live on forever but cannot haunt me, and I am releasing you from my iron grip, the hardest task I will ever finish. This is goodbye, but not a forever goodbye, a fr-now-goodbye. There will always be a place deep in my heart that is dedicated strictly for you, dear. And in a way, my whole heart is still yours, for if you were to open our door and walk over to me, you would take up all the space in my chest, no matter how long it took you to return.
Farewell on your journey, my one and only true love. Our souls will reunite, and I will be awaiting that day. But, until then, I must move on, my dear, create a new life for myself where I can breathe again without the pain. I must learn to live again, to be myself, the one you set your eyes on so many years ago and fell madly in love with. Oh, I miss those days!
Here I go again, love! Please do not let me dwell! Push me on, push me away from this house, this chair, this bed, these curtains. I need to move on and out, if only to allow you to do the same.
Now I bid you adieu one last time, dear, and this time I mean it. Wait for me when all has settled down and you have found peace. When I find those very things myself, and I take my final breaths, I will come join you to spend eternity in everlasting, immortal love atop the clouds.
Goodbye, my dear Jason. Find peace and happiness not matter where it be, up there in the heavens.
With more love than you can imagine,
Iliana a.k.a. Iona <3
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I have a long, excruciating trip ahead of me, as do you, love. I am ready now, I think, I hope, I need. I wish this was not the way we had to depart from each other; I wish we never had to say goodbye. With these hopes and wishes, I have denied the end of our story. I have neglected this final chapter, keeping the series of events that have led up to our final hours together as close to me as I possibly could. I cannot be bitter, dear, for I know you would want me to be happy. But these long, lonely years have left a mark and I have been bitter, even cold at times. It is tough here without you, my love. And I didn't imagine it any other way. But imagining and living are two very different things. Which is why I am here. I am removing this cloak of bitterness and watching it float away into the clouds. I am taking all these lovely memories and storing them where they will live on forever but cannot haunt me, and I am releasing you from my iron grip, the hardest task I will ever finish. This is goodbye, but not a forever goodbye, a fr-now-goodbye. There will always be a place deep in my heart that is dedicated strictly for you, dear. And in a way, my whole heart is still yours, for if you were to open our door and walk over to me, you would take up all the space in my chest, no matter how long it took you to return.
Farewell on your journey, my one and only true love. Our souls will reunite, and I will be awaiting that day. But, until then, I must move on, my dear, create a new life for myself where I can breathe again without the pain. I must learn to live again, to be myself, the one you set your eyes on so many years ago and fell madly in love with. Oh, I miss those days!
Here I go again, love! Please do not let me dwell! Push me on, push me away from this house, this chair, this bed, these curtains. I need to move on and out, if only to allow you to do the same.
Now I bid you adieu one last time, dear, and this time I mean it. Wait for me when all has settled down and you have found peace. When I find those very things myself, and I take my final breaths, I will come join you to spend eternity in everlasting, immortal love atop the clouds.
Goodbye, my dear Jason. Find peace and happiness not matter where it be, up there in the heavens.
With more love than you can imagine,
Iliana a.k.a. Iona <3
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